How to Gain Confidence in Wearing A Hijab
The hijab, in itself, is a clothing of protection and beauty. Wearing a hijab protects you from the male gaze of this misogynist world and offers relief from the shackles of unrealistic beauty standards. It ticks all the right boxes for its practical purposes, like covering the head and keeping hair out of sight, but it also has a major influence on how we act, speak and carry ourselves. But despite all of the above facts, women face difficulties and pitfalls when carrying a hijab. Many of these problems stem from the societal stigma surrounding the Islamic women wear, but many of them come from the internal battle and mental hurdles that arise when we are faced with the choice of covering ourselves.
It is indeed not an easy task to carry a hijab, and it is normal to feel confused and question your intentions behind your actions. Being humans, we all carry desires, and we sometimes crave worldly attention. The only way to fight those impulses is to stand firm in the face of indecision and keep a steady head. It is important to remember how you chose to incorporate this lifestyle choice. And despite these fleeting urges that seem voluptuous at times, it’s important to remind yourself that you did it for the creator, not their creation.
Still, despite the good intentions and motives, the tide of worldly desires becomes very intense, and we do find ourselves surrendering to it. Hence, for people struggling with their hijabi lifestyle and feeling demotivated to follow it, here’s an offering that might help you realign your thoughts.
Don’t Wait for The Right Moment
The hijab journey entails a lot of steps. Some may find themselves feeling comfortable and confident with carrying a hijab. Some may be beginning to question their choices. Yet many people, despite wanting to wear hijab for a long time, can’t seem to make the big move. They keep telling themselves that they are waiting for the “right moment”, but it never seems to come, and they keep deferring it.
This is another mental barrier that is not put by any outside influences but is enacted by the person herself. The right moment, so to speak, will not come until you decide it has come. You are the one who gets to decide it, and you can easily decide it today. It’s just a matter of mustering enough courage and will to decide it for yourself. The right moment is here and now, and you do not want the day when you’re lowered in your grave to be the right moment when you’re covered.
Baby Steps Are Better Than Taking Giant Leaps
The “it all or nothing” mindset often hinders our progress, and we don’t even realize that. You need to realize that there’s no proper way of wearing a hijab, and it is an incremental process where you can add layers with ease. Don’t have to live up to the image of a stereotypical hijabi. You can define your notions of modesty, however fragmented they may be, and then build up from there. Defining boundaries may sometimes limit progress. Modesty grows on you; as you embrace it, you need to have space for growth and study it at your own pace.
Limiting Time On Social Media
We often mistake empathy for mean-spirited remarks without even realizing it. And the negative stigma and stereotypes surrounding the hijab are not just restricted to western spaces but also present in predominantly Muslim spaces. Of course, you can’t change people’s notions and ideas when they hold them as truths when they are full of ignorance and misconceptions, but you can still change your attitude towards them. Social media can be both rewarding, misleading, and toxic, and one can’t navigate through it without bumping into Islamophobic and misogynistic takes. It takes self-defenses lessons to better cope with the negativity surrounding us; the best way to do it is to limit your social media use. It’s better to step back from a space that constantly breeds insecurities and hurtful content and try to ground yourself to focus on what you’re doing and where your motivations come from.
Don’t Fret If You Can’t Find Your Hijab Groove Immediately
As stated before, practicing modesty isn’t always a linear process, and everyone does it at their own pace. Grace and effortlessness isn’t inborn quality, but it is achieved through practice and keeping up with your chosen lifestyle. If you feel it takes time and struggles to put on a hijab, you can try experimenting with different hijab styles and materials. Every hijabi starts with floppy and awkward hijab styles, but with trial and error, they learn what suits them. Exploring and discovering different hijab styles does wonders, but the first step is always to stop comparing yourself with others. We easily fall prey to the vicious cycle of comparing ourselves with other people, and this is where the urge to give up gets stronger. Comparisons kill progress, and the quicker you understand that the easier your life becomes.
Know Your Intentions
Wearing a hijab is not about showing beauty but preserving it. The freedom of Muslim women lies in the fact that we choose to display what we want. A hijab is a constant reminder of what we choose to do, who we are, and what we strive to achieve. Allah never asks for perfection from their creation, and they know better than anyone that we are bound to make mistakes. What matters in the eye of God is the intention and efforts behind an act; everything else is merely secondary. In the end, in the grand scheme of things, we’re only here for the time being, and the main struggle is to control your desires and not let them control you.
