Missouri’s Stupid Expensive Houses Are Making Me Question My Life Choices
From Ridiculous Mansions to That Weirdly Pricey Place in Union Hill: A Tour of Where Rich People Throw Their Money
Okay, so… it’s way too late and I’m still thinking about houses. God, I need a life.
KC’s “Look How Much Money I Have” Neighborhoods
So, Beacon Hill, right? Fancy name, fancy houses, fancy prices that make me want to cry into my cheap wine. Showed a place there today. Nearly choked when I saw the price. Client didn’t even blink. Must be nice. And then there’s Hospital Hill. Who named these places? Anyway, only thing sick there is my bank account after looking at those prices. But hey, great views. Of other expensive houses. Yay.
More Hills Because Apparently We Love Torturing Ourselves
Oh, and Armour Hills. More like “Do You Have a Spare Armoured Truck Full of Cash” Hills. Pretty, though. If you like houses that cost more than I’ll make in three lifetimes. Don’t even get me started on Westwood Hills. West-way-too-expensive Hills, more like. Saw a doghouse there once. Pretty sure it cost more than my car.
Why Am I Even Doing This?
Look, I love my job. I do. But some days, showing these crazy expensive houses… it’s like… I don’t know, like being a kid in a candy store. Where everything’s made of gold. And you’re not allowed to touch anything. But then sometimes, I get to help someone buy their dream home. And it’s amazing. Even if I do have to go home and eat ramen for a week afterward. So yeah, if you’ve got more money than sense and want to buy a house that’s bigger than most small countries, call me. I’ll only judge you a little. Maybe. Anyway, I should sleep. Or look at more listings. Same thing at this point, right? Oh, and if you buy one of these palaces? Invite me over. I’ll bring cheap champagne and we can laugh about how your closet is bigger than my whole apartment. Now, where did I put that lottery ticket…?
